How to Prepare for Your First Divorce Consultation in North Carolina  

Edited by Clare Poston | Published on April 11, 2025  

Going through a separation or potential divorce is an emotional and challenging time. One of the first steps in the process is meeting with a divorce attorney to discuss your case, understand your rights and learn about the next steps. Preparing for your initial consultation can make a significant difference in how effectively the meeting goes, and an effective initial consult will help you feel more confident and informed about how to proceed.  

At Tharrington Smith, we understand that each case is unique. Our experienced family law attorneys will guide you through every step, starting with the initial consultation. In this guide, we,ll walk you through how to prepare for your first divorce consultation in North Carolina, ensuring that you have all the necessary information and feel empowered throughout the process.  

1. Gather All Relevant Documents 

Before your consultation, it’s helpful for you to begin to gather documentation. When two people are separating, they often involve complex financial and legal considerations. Getting a head start and bringing in some financial paperwork can help your attorney understand your financial situation more clearly. Some of the documents you should begin to gather and bring to your consultation include:  

• Financial Documents: Tax returns for the last 3-5 years, W-2s, pay stubs, bank statements, retirement account information, credit card statements, investment account statements, insurance documents, documents reflecting ownership of stocks or stock options, documents reflecting child related costs, business documents and any other financial documentation.  

• Assets and Debts: A list of all major assets (real estate, vehicles, investments) and debts (mortgages, lines of credit, loans, credit cards) is essential. Knowing how to divide property can be one of the most complex issues in a divorce, and in order to divide your marital property, you need to be aware of what the marital estate consists of 

• Prenuptial or Postnuptial Agreements (if applicable): These agreements can significantly impact how assets and debts are divided, as well as spousal support.  

• Children’s Information: If you have children, bring details about their birth dates, schools, and any existing custody or visitation arrangements.  

• Existing Court Orders. If the Court has issued any Orders in your case, bring them with you so the attorney can review them during your consultation. 

2. Be Prepared to Discuss Your Goals 

While we will be there to explain the process from start to finish, it can be helpful for a client to have thought about their goals or identify their main areas of concern prior to their consultation.  

To establish your goals related to your separation, ask yourself questions like:  

• What is most important to me in this divorce? (custody, assets, financial stability)  

• Do I want an amicable settlement or am I prepared for a contested divorce?  

• How do I envision the future in terms of co-parenting or living arrangements?  

• Do I want to take an aggressive approach? 

• What do I believe my husband or wife is looking to do? 

• How do I believe my case will be resolved most successfully? 

Understanding your priorities will allow your attorney to give you realistic advice on the best path forward.  

3. Understand North Carolina Divorce Laws 

North Carolina has specific laws that govern divorce, property division, child custody, child support and spousal support. Below we have outlined some commonly asked questions related to separation, so you can familiarize yourself with the basics prior to a consultation. 

Key things to know about divorce in North Carolina:  

• Grounds for Divorce: North Carolina is a no-fault divorce state, meaning you do not need to prove wrongdoing (like adultery or cruelty) to file for divorce. A simple one-year physical separation is sufficient, so long as it was the intent of one party to remain separated (NC Gen Stat § 50-6).  

• Equitable Distribution of Property: North Carolina uses “equitable distribution” to divide marital property, which doesn’t always mean an equal 50/50 split but rather what is fair considering various factors.  Marital property in North Carolina consists of all property accumulated from the date of marriage to the date of separation with the exception of gifts or inheritance. 

• Child Custody and Support: North Carolina courts prioritize the best interests of the child when determining child custody and child support. Among other things, factors like the child’s needs, the parents, ability to care for the child, and the child’s relationship with each parent are considered. In North Carolina, child support is typically determined by the North Carolina Child Support Guidelines, unless the parties’ combined adjusted gross income exceeds $480,000 annually. To calculate support under these guidelines, it’s helpful to know each party’s gross monthly income, insurance payments, extraordinary expenses for the children, and any work-related childcare costs. The state provides separate worksheets for different custody arrangements – Worksheet A for primary custody, Worksheet B for joint custody, and Worksheet C for split custody. 

4. Be Ready to Discuss the Emotional Side of the Divorce 

Divorce isn’t just about legal paperwork; it’s a deeply personal and emotional journey. Our attorneys at Tharrington Smith understand that, and we,re here to listen. If there are any emotional or personal concerns, such as domestic violence, substance abuse, or mental health struggles, it’s important to share this with us. This information can significantly influence how we approach your case, including if any protective measures are necessary.  

5. Ask the Right Questions 

At your consultation, make sure to ask the attorney key questions that will help you understand the process and what to expect:  

• What is the typical timeline for a divorce in North Carolina?  

• What are the potential costs and fees involved in my case?  

• How will child custody be determined, and how is child support calculated?  

• What are the next steps in the process after the consultation?  

• What strategies do you suggest for my case, and how do you approach divorce settlements or trials?  

• Could this matter be handled outside of court? Is mediation an option? Arbitration? 

Asking these questions ensures you,re fully informed and can help you gauge whether the attorney at Tharrington Smith is a good fit for your needs.  

6. Be Honest and Transparent 

The more transparent you are during the consultation, the better we can serve you. We,re here to support you through this process, and being open about all aspects of your case-no matter how difficult-will help us create the best strategy for your situation. Don’t worry; you,re not alone in this. We,re here to listen and guide you every step of the way.  Attorney client privilege applies to initial consultations, meaning anything you discuss alone with your lawyer, is confidential. 

7. Understand the Costs and Payment Structures 

Divorce can be costly, and understanding the attorney’s fee structure is crucial. Ask about hourly rates, retainer fees, and any potential additional costs such as court fees, expert witness fees, or mediation costs. Being clear about your budget upfront can help set expectations and avoid any financial surprises down the line.  

8. Leave the Consultation with a Plan 

By the end of your consultation, you should leave with a better understanding of the next steps in your divorce. You should know:  

• How to retain a Tharrington Smith attorney. 

• The payment structure. 

• The possible outcomes of your case. 

• A rough timeline for how long the process will take. 

• A clear understanding of the attorney’s recommended first step.  

• Any action steps you need to take on your part. 

Conclusion  

Preparing for your first divorce consultation in North Carolina is crucial for ensuring the process goes as smoothly as possible. When you have the right documents, a clear understanding of your goals, and some knowledge of North Carolina’s divorce laws, you can confidently begin your divorce journey.

If you,re ready to begin the process or need advice on how to navigate divorce in North Carolina, Tharrington Smith is here to help. Our experienced family law attorneys are committed to providing compassionate and effective legal counsel, and we,ll guide you through every step of your divorce process.  

Disclaimer:

The information provided in this blog post is intended for general informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice. For specific guidance regarding your divorce case, contact one of our experienced Tharrington Smith family law attorneys.   

© Tharrington Smith, LLP